Don’t you just love it when someone tries to help you gain perspective—perhaps by pointing out the proverbial silver lining or sharing their own experienced wisdom—when you’re trudging through a trying season?

Yeah. Me neither.

I would not like to count the number of times older parents have seen me with my baby and toddler and urged, with a wistful and sometimes verging on desperate tone to their voice: “Enjoy these years! Savor every moment! Time passes so quickly!”

While I have no doubt that this advice is well meant, it has never once accomplished what I can only assume was the giver’s intention: providing comfort or elucidating me in one way or another. Look, in the moments when I’m inundated by my toddler’s whines or my baby’s cries, my mind turns to mush. I can barely focus enough to choose between chunky and creamy peanut butter, let alone integrate the philosophical aphorisms of parents before me.

But if I’m going to disparage advice-giving strangers, I ought to honestly acknowledge that the number one culprit of uttering phrases like “savor the moment” is neither the grocery store cashier nor an elderly aunt. It’s me.

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